Ranma 05
by KittyElf
Summary: My first fanfic! This is what happens when I'm up too late at night! PLease review so I can improve stuff...and be kind!


***At the Tendo Dojo***

"RANMA!!!!!"

            Akane's angry scream rang through the air of the Tendo martial arts dojo, followed by the sounds of objects hurtling through the air at high speeds. Suddenly, a red-haired blur sprang through the kitchen of the dojo, dodging several unidentified flying objects.

            "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU HENTAI!!! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA!" Akane continued yelling as she threw a book around the doorway. She sprang into the kitchen, still yelling threats and insults. She was a dark haired, rather tomboyish girl, with a bathrobe clenched around her slim form and a large vase grasped in her hands. The red-haired form stopped long enough for Kasumi, who was making dinner in the kitchen, to see a rather attractive and well-built female with a red pigtail and highly toned body stick her tongue out at the dark haired girl. That was a mistake.

            *CRASH*

            The vase connected solidly with the redhead's skull. She fell over, unconscious. Akane hauled the redhead to her feet, slapping her into a lucid state. "I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE MY FIANCEE," she shrieked. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO WALK IN ON ME IN THE BATH!!!!!!" 

             The redhead sprang out of Akane's grasp. "Hey, it wasn't my fault Akane! I knocked!" she said defensively.

            Another brunette popped into the kitchen. She bore a startling resemblance to the Kasumi and Akane. "He did knock Akane. I heard him."

            "Thanks Nabiki," the redhead said gratefully.

            "YOU STILL WALKED IN ON ME RANMA!!!!" Akane shouted.

            "Hey, I'm a girl at the moment! It's no big deal!" Ranma said.

            Akane produced a kettle that was spitting steam from absolutely nowhere. She chucked the water over Ranma. A cloud of mist enveloped her. Suddenly, Ranma emerged from the steam. Only she was taller, raven haired, and had a considerable lack of chest. Ranma was a boy!

            "Baka," he muttered under his breath. "Why am I gonna be forced to marry a macho chick like you? You can't cook or clean or . . ."

            *WHAM*

            The kettle connected solidly with Ranma's head, sending him into oblivion.

            "Ranma no baka," Akane muttered.

***On the other side of Nerima***

            *Swish* *Slice*

            _Ranma, thou art not a worthy man- thy fighting skills are distasteful and dishonorable. Thou art not much to view, either. Yet you have the Spatula Woman Ukyou, Chinese Amazon Shampoo, and Akane Tendo . . ._

            *THUD*

             . . ._the most athletic, graceful, beautiful girls. . ._

            *THWACK*

             . . ._as your fiancées!_

            *RIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP*

            _Not to mention the adorable and innocent Pig-Tailed Goddess as your slave . . ._

            *Shredshredshred*

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

            The practice dummy lay shredded on the floor. Next to it was a splintered Bokun sword. And holding the handle of the Bokun, panting like crazy, was a dark-haired boy. He was dressed in a navy blue ceremonial kimono, and he was clenching a red rose in his right hand. "Ranmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he bellowed.

            "WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" came a shriek from the ceiling of the gym.

            The boy rolled his eyes. "Sister, would you please disengage yourself from the ceiling? It is not ladylike."

            A dark blur fell to the floor. It uncurled, revealing a slender female. She was clad only in a black leotard and a black cape. Her long black hair was pulled into a ponytail, held in place with a red ribbon. A black ribbon, attached to a baton, swung in her left hand. In her right she carried a bouquet of black roses. "Brother, dear, I am no lady. I have no fiancée, you remember." *sob* "But all that will change tonight!" Her eyes lit up crazily.

            "Not again, Kodachi-san. Your plots never work. They are always foiled by either Ranma himself, or Akane." *sigh* "Besides, your Martial Gymnastics is such a limited battle-form!" the boy said.

            "Well, Kuno-sama, they at least get a reaction! Akane and Ranma ignore you _and_ your plots completely!"

            "Sister, thou art overstepping thyself." *glare*

            "Brother, you are an annoyance." *glare*

            "Oh, stop your bickering!"

            "Who said that?"

            "Show thyself immediately, knave!"

            "Listen." A figure cloaked in gray stepped from the shadows. "I have a plan to separate Akane and Ranma once and for all!"

            "I would not do anything that would cause my dear Akane unhappiness," said Kuno stiffly.

            "Wouldn't she be better off with you, brother, dear? And then I would have Ranma all to myself! WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!" cackled Kodachi.

            "Exactly!" said the shadow. "And now, here is my plan . . ."

***Back at the Tendo Dojo***

            "Ohhhhhh, my head," Ranma said.  

            "Oh good! He's awake! Are you all right, Ranma?" Kasumi asked.

            "Of course he is! Us Saotome's have taken much worse punishment, right Ranma?" an older, bald man said heartily.

            "Actually, dad . . .I think I need an aspirin," Ranma muttered.

            "Here you go, Ranma," said Nabiki nonchalantly.

            "Oh no, oh no, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo. My dojo won't have an heir. Boo-hoo . . ."

            "Daddy, he's awake now," Nabiki said. 

"The baka," muttered Akane.

            "Akane! Stop that!" exclaimed Kasumi.

            "But Kasumi, he . . ."

            "I know that he walked in on you again, Akane. But face the facts. He knocked- Nabiki heard him. And he was a girl, so that wasn't a problem. And while I agree that he probably did deserve a slap or something, you had no right to knock him out twice!" Kasumi said angrily.

            "Oneechan . . ." Akane mumbled, "I thought . . ."

            "No, you didn't think, Akane. You can't go around beating people up forever! We all have accepted Ranma's situation, now why can't you? He is a nice boy! If you treated him better, he might actually be nicer to you!"

            "Wow, Kasumi, I didn't think that you had this in you!" exclaimed Nabiki.

            "That's my daughter," said the man who had been crying.

            "Thank you, Nabiki. Thanks, father. But Akane, I really AM sick of you always beating up on Ranma. He IS your fiancée- please try and act like he is." Kasumi paused, out of breath.

            Akane looked up and down the room angrily. "Arigato for your advice, Kasumi." She blinked. "I'm sorry for my actions. I'm . . . I'm sorry Ranma." Then she turned and fled.

            Silence. Then Kasumi said, "I'm sorry for yelling at your son, Genma-san."

            "Think nothing of it my dear!" the bald man exclaimed. "He deserved it!"

            Kasumi and Nabiki then left the room. 

            "Well, Genma, I think our children are finally getting along, eh?"

            "You said it, Soun. Akane is a fighter though. Reminds me of Nodoka when we were courting . . ."

            *SPLASH*

            A panda now sat where Genma had been sitting. 

            "GET OUT!" Ranma roared as he threw his parental panda through the ceiling of the dojo. Soun quickly left through the door.

            "Ah, a little quiet," Ranma muttered.

            *Crack* *Ba-boom* *Goosh*

            "Oh fudge," said the now drenched redhead.

***At the Nerima Ice-Rink***

            *Swish*

            "And, 2, 3, And, 2, 3 . . ."

            *Throw* *Twirl*

            "EEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

            *Thud*

            "WAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

            "Huh?" Mikado murmured dazedly. He picked himself up from the ice and skated over to his partner. He was wearing gray figure skates and a gray tuxedo. His brown hair swished a little in the wind he created as he skated. He would have been handsome, had a permanently smug expression not been stamped on his features.

            "WAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

            "Will you please _stop_ that incessant wailing?" Mikado yelled at his partner.

            She regally rose from the ice. Her short pink costume fluttered nicely. Her honey-brown hair was caught in a pink bow. She had a baby face on a mature body, but that face was scrunched into a pout. "Mikado, Leonora's gone!" she wailed.

            "What is Leonora?" he asked tiredly.

            "She's my new kee-yout charm of a duck! And she fell off my bracelet! WAHHH!"

            "Funny," Mikado murmured, "I saw a similar charm on the wrist of the Furikan High School coach's wrist . . .oh well."

            "Yeah, I loved it!" the girl beamed.

            "You took it, didn't you Azusa?" Mikado said.

            "Yup!" Azusa smiled happily.

            "Azusa!" Mikado bellowed. "You need to concentrate on the skating! You were supposed to land in my arms in the Belldandy position- _not_ plant your blade on my shoulder! We have a competition coming up! Training is more important than a stupid duck charm!"

            *Whamwhamwham* "Leonora isn't stupid!" Azusa shrieked.

            "You should be practicing, though," came a voice from the shadows.

            Azusa looked around, and then spotted something. "Cyril! Cyril!" she called at the gray cape moving steadily forward.

            The cloaked and hooded stranger skated up to Mikado, completely ignoring Azusa's squeals. "That is, if you want to get Akane Tendo's lips, Mikado."

            Mikado froze.

            "Then again, you might be able to do it without my help. You _did_ manage to separate them during that martial skating match with the signature 'Couple Cleaver' move you two have perfected. Of course, they still got up and walked away . . . not to mention won . . ." The stranger paused significantly.

            Mikado spoke softly. "Akane's tender, rose-bud lips, mine at long last . . . and no Ranma in the way to stop me . . ."

            Under the hood, the stranger smiled complacently. "I thought so."

            "Cyril! Cyril!" Azusa yelled.

***Back at the Tendo Dojo***

            "Baka," Akane muttered into her pillow. "Why did our parents engage me to Ranma? He is such a jerk! And he's a freak- that half man! He constantly insults my cooking, my clothes, my martial abilities . . ."

            "Maybe if you were nicer, to him, Akane . . ." came a voice from the doorway of Akane's bedroom.

            "Not you too, Nabiki," Akane murmured tiredly.

            "Hey sis, I won't lecture you." Nabiki smirked as she sat down on Akane's bed. "All I wanted to say was that you should think about the old prophecy- Treat others as you want to be treated."

            "Really? That sounds funny coming from you Nabiki!"

            "Hey!" Nabiki turned red. "I do have scruples, Akane! Now, I grant you that Ranma is a freak, but he can still be pretty nice at times. Just think about that." Then she left, closing the door behind her.

            Akane sat in silence for a minute. She then stood up, thinking about what her sister had just said. Mechanically she moved towards her bureau, and pulled out her loose yellow pajamas. Tiredly she pulled them on. She was just finishing buttoning the top when there was a knock on her door. "Come in," she called.

            Ranma entered, drying his black hair with a towel. "Hey Akane," he said. "I was wondering if you wanted to talk."

            "S . . .sure," Akane stammered.

            "Well, uh, I . . .oh heck, I'm sorry for walking in on you earlier."

            "HUH?" Her eyes grew big and round.

            "Well, yeah. I always use the excuse 'I was a girl' but it isn't really a good one."

            "HUH?"

            "Think about it. Even when I am in my cursed Jusenkyo form, I am still really a boy. I'm just built different. So 'I was a girl' wasn't really any excuse to use. I'm sorry." He hung his head ashamedly.

            "Oh . . ." Akane said softly. "Well, Ranma . . .I guess it's okay."

            "HUH?" Now it was Ranma's turn to have his eyes bug out.

            "I'm just thinking about something Nabiki said earlier. About giving you a fair chance. You did knock, so I didn't have any real reason to hit you. I guess that it scares me to think that someday we'll be married, so anytime that you get to close or personal I freak out! It was my fault that I couldn't hear you anyway. I was singing so loud . . ."

            "Yeah. I like that song - Rainy Day Man by Senshi Mina, right? *  You sing nicely."

            "Y . . .you mean that Ranma?"

            "Yeah."

            Ranma looked at Akane, and saw how much the compliment meant to her. He looked away, then stepped forward and roughly held her to him. "Sorry I was such a hentai."

            Akane hugged him back. "I'm sorry I was so reactionary."

            *Smooch*

***At a computer somewhere in an alternate reality***

            "AGH! What happened? They are supposed to be fighting, not hugging and kissing! It's Ranma and Akane for crying out loud! They just screwed up my entire plot! The shadowy cloaked figure was supposed to get Mousse and Shampoo and Ukyou and Gosunkugi and several other random people together to break them up! And then, when they were all heart-broken, Azusa was going to tear the hood off the cloaked figure and reveal Happosai! ARGGHHH!"

            *Sounds of screaming as the author throws things at her computer*

            "Hey!"

            "What?" the author exclaims.

            "You mind not ruining our moment?"

            "Yeah! Ranma finally sees the error of his ways, and you want to complicate matters?"

            "Why do you people always want to tear Akane out of my hands?"

            "Stop it already! You are such a sadist!! I want to marry Akane! Just let it happen already! Get Shampoo and Ukyou and everyone else out of my life! _I hate them_! I just want some peace and quiet and old-married-couplehood!"

            "I can't! I have a plot to maintain!"

            "YOU MAKE RANMA MARRY ME OR ELSE!"

            "You can't hurt me Akane. This is _my_ world!"

            "Oh yeah?"

            "Hey, what are you doing with that table? Put it back down! Down! AGGG---"

            *Thud*

            "Humph, Ranma, let's go."

            "Certainly Akane!"

The End 

* Lyrics to Rainy Day Man

When I think about the first time

I thought I found someone who cared for me

But things were not as they appeared to be 

Rainy day man

On your shoulder I cried

When my first brush with love 

Left me shaking inside

Rainy day man

Ever since I can remember

Just like a brother you've been strong and true

Always been the one to see me through

Rainy day man

You're much more than a friend

I would give anything

Just to see you again

Rainy day man

Always been the one to see me through

Rainy day man

On your shoulder I cried

When my first brush with love 

Left me shaking inside

Rainy day man

You're much more than a friend

I would give anything

Just to see you again

Rainy day man

Rainy day man

Rainy day man

Rainy day man


End file.
